live on surprise

"Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing, love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens, and it is so incredibly messy"

As i began to love myself

As i began to love myself i free myself of anything that is no good for my health- food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is " love of oneself " .   1959 Charlie Chaplin

the story of a guy. ep 7

after his flat mate smashed the door and went in a rush down the stairs he went on the balcony to watch the city again. the weather was beautiful, the sky was blue and had couple of fluffy little clouds here and there. the street was busy already and the cars were passing in speed. the sound of the agglomeration made him go inside. he clean up the mess from the living and went to the shop to take some things that were missing from the fridge.
after he picks up the things he goes at the cash register point.

-hei, how are u? the seller asked him
-im good that you, got some thoughts on my mind but all good. how about u?
-well, another working day for me. going tonight at this party with my wife but to be honest i would more prefer to have a beer with my friends.
-well, a man has to do what a man got to do :)

they smile to each other and said good bye.

he went up in the flat and watch some tv. the program sucked. he took his phone and ringed some friend to hang out but all of them were stuck with their girlfriends. in the end he decided to go and do some gym so he packs his things and went to build some mussels. during his practice she wrote him a msg that she will wait for him at the island, she needed to talk with him.
he ignored the msg at first and went down to the mall to spend some time in the shops. there he met one of his mates and went together to the snooker place to play some pool and have a beer.

as they arrive they take a table :

-hi, can we have the table number 7 please.
-sure u do my friend. here we go.
-thank you.
-have a good game.

after couple of games they stoped and sit down to drink in peace a beer and talk about school. they had just couple of weeks ahead till graduation.

-so what are u planning to do after we graduate? he ask his coleg
-to be honest i have no idea. probably will go back home and chill for a bit and then will make a decision. i need to talk with my girlfriend as well even im pretty sure that our road together will end up once with the school. i dont dream to stay in this big city, i like small places, quiet ones and she.s more type the city girl. i ve enjoy my 4 years here, but i know for sure its not the place i wanna end up. have u any ideas whats gonna happen next for you??
-im kinda passing a strange period. i dont know nothing. i dont know what i want after we finish. i dont know where i wanna be. i dont know if i wanna end up in a office already, in the end we are just young. there has to be something more from all this life. imagine till now we went 15 years in school spending more then three parts of each year studying and dedicating out time for our education. and what s next?
-well ... his friend said without having an answer
-i tell you whats next, we will take a job, work our asses from nine till five each day , getting the fuckin stressed out. ending up giving up our passions and get a girl. marry her and get kids. and then we need to dedicate again all our time to them, to make them a life and give them and education. and then we get old. and no one will give a shit anymore.
-that.s how life works i guess ...

he looked at him with a angry face.

-no way this is not me, this is not what my life will be. i will graduate and then im gonna take my things and a one way ticket to a random place and im gonna experience life like i've never think it can be.

he stoped at a moment because he know that his friend was not the person to talk about all this things.

-but fuck it, im sorry i just dont know whats going on in my mind lately. maybe its just that i dont want to start to get the life more seriously. let.s play a game again.

they started to play another game and talk more about life. at the table six two nice girls were starting to a game. one of them was wearing a yellow shirt with a small black logo on her back and blue tite jeans one her beautiful legs. the other one was dressed more classic, with a white shirt and gray suit cough and black pants with high heels. as they started to play they watched them and made some signs when there was funny shots.
one of them noticed their attention and hides laughs

-maybe you guys want to give us some lessons, it would be more nice then laughing about. this is just our third time.

the guys looked at each other and said

-why dont u girl joins our table, its lucky number 7.

the girls finished their game and joined at the boys table. they had couple of games together and they god to know each other a little bit. apparently the girls were more into a trip in the city and they were searching for something fun for tonight. the guys went to the bar to get another beer and there :

-dude, u need to wing me tonight, i really wanna score with the yellow shirt tonight, have u watched her ass???
-i have a dinner with my girlfriend and as much as i would bang the other one , cant do it. but how about ur flat mate, i bet he will never say no a chick .
-you know what, that's brilliant. how could i not think about him. wait a sec.

he took his phone and dial his flat mate:

-dude, i got two hot chicks. not from town but looking for some fun tonight.
-sounds awesome. whats the plan??
-there.s no plan. find out something cool, not trashy, maybe a bit fancy. maybe the frame if they have open tonight, that could work good, or the room, that could be more perfect.
-well, i will figure out a place but before i think we should invite them to a glass of wine and a joint at home, i just got this nice buds from a friend straight from Amsterdammmmmmmmmmmmm.
-i will see what i can do , i dont want to make them a bad impression. i will work it out and come back to you. you should find that place and lets roll again tonight.

the boys returned and set down with the girls and talked a bit about where's cool to be in the city and other crazy nightlife stories.

-by the way, i was just talking with my flat mate, seems like we have a little preparty tonight at our place, maybe you girls want to join us for a drink and let us show you some awesome places to dance and have a good evening?
-if your flat mate is cute like you , sure we will.

he smiled and didnt said much, he acted shy a bit.and after couple of seconds he replied

-i wouldnt say its more cute then me, but he definitely its a awesome guy. and he knows how to party as well. you.ll see.
-then we will give it a try.

after more talks they said goodbye and settle a date for tonight. they changed number just in case and went on they own way. he went home and started to clean around his room as well, changed the shits from last night and got some new candles prepared. went and bought some sweet wine and some snacks to go with it. he.s mate came home and went into the shower minutes after. he did the same thing after and dress up for the evening. they had dinner together and talked about the girls. the phone ringed and the girls asked if they can pass earlier because they are bored.

-hei, seems like they are here half hours earlier.
-good job u did, i cant wait to meet them.
-the one with green eyes is mine, i told u i already had a connexion with her.
-dont worrie, even if im not into it i ll be ur best wingman tonight. lets roll a split and wait them in a nice mood ;)

they've rolled a joint and went on the balcony and smoked. he didnt want to get to high and had only some puffs to get him a bit of high mood. the time was there and the girl were ringing at the door...

the story of a guy. ep 6

the door ringed.. on the other side she was there. he opens the door and she was standing there cryig. he didnt know what he want to do but he huged her.

-what happen??

she couldnt say nothing because of her tears. she was crying like a man hurt from love. her tears were like a autumn rain.

-come inside please! and took her into the flat.

they went to his room, and sat in their arm for long time till she felt asleep.

the next morning he got up much earlier and made breakfast. the coffee smell wake her up. She went to wash her face and then join him on the balcony. he was sitting on the chair with the legs up at his chest. he was smoking a cigarette and watch the people passing on the street.

-good morning! she said with a quiet voice.

he turned his head and watch her, smile a little, and then turn his head.

-so what happened? why i saw you like that last night?

-i didnt been completly honest with you! i have some things to tell you

she started to tell him about another guy that she dated before him and all this wierd situation that she end up being agressed by him when she said that she fall inlove with him. they said that love lifts you up. but love can turn into a tornado and turn you life up side down leaving you in a cloud of confussion.
he started not to listen to her anymore and just went deep into his toughts.

-i think this should be over betwen us. i thought about it yesterday and the day before. i realize that i can be safe with you and to worry about another person its the last thing that i want in my life now. i have my own questions now and i have decided to search an aswer to them first and then to try to find a girl that i can love.
-i am so sorry, please dont leave me now, i need you , and i felt inlove with you and i promise to not hide you again anything. you are what i want and this is what i realize... she was saying betwen tears.
-i took a decision already, and im sorry that you have to find out about it exactly now in this bad moment that you end up in, but this is not my fault, i was honest with you and i plan to stay honest. i hope you understand.

she left that morning with different tears in her eyes. he felt bad but it was the right decision that he had to take. the rest of the day he spend it walking around the city and observing people. he realized that that is not the city he want to stay and that he need a change in his life. he came home and his flat mate was there.

-dude, what happen? she pass couple of minutes ago searching for you and she told me that u just broke up your relationship.
-can i not talk about it? i really dont want to at this point. i have other thing on my mind now.
-whats going on mate? talk with me
-i think im gonna go from here man. is time to search something that i havent tried before. i want to start going around and found out more about this world.
-but man, your family, your friends, your job, your life??
-i bet the things will run without me around as well like they do now.
-you know im always supporting you in your decision. if this is what you feel, go for it. but im gonna miss you a lot!

after this discussion they decided to go out for a drink and end up in a pub in the student area where they had a beer pong game and then end up talking with this two students girl that their were kinda new in town and decided to show them a underground club that runs in a wendsday evening. they took the bus and end up near the club. they enter there and order a beer and meet some other friend of them that they where ready to go out for a joint and ivited them as well. you just dont say no to a joint and they went outside. the girls stayed inside waiting and at the time they came back they had already couple of shots and they got a little bit nasty.

-dude, look at them, they got really horney. we should deff get a foresome tonight!
-man i really wanna be your wing man but im not in the mood tonight;
-hei, just look at them!

moment in which the girls started to kiss eachother and tease the guys around them that gather around them like some kids around a incecream truck.

the boys went to "save" them from that

-excuse me boys but the girls are with us ! arent you girls?
-yes we are ! they said gigleling
-i think we should have a dance, i just love this song, the flat mate suggested. and they did

after couple of songs they decided to go out and chill with a cigarette. they were standing in pairs outside on the side of the road when from across the street a guy with a girl was getting closer. it was her with another guy keeping hands.

-no way, dude! is that her??? he asked his flat mate.
-yeah, i guess is she.
-wow, i cant believe it, she.s a fuckin cunt.
-i cant eather she just been searching for you to get forgiveness and shes already out with another dude.
-fuck it, i made the right choise. im not gonna pay attention.

the girls there felt a little bit left over this conversation and after they wisper something in the ear they took the guys inside and start a show on the ring floor with them teasing and kissing eachother. after another couple of songs and a good time being in the center of the attention the girls said that they should come with them at their place.

-why dont we go to our place? the flat mate asked, we live kinda close from here.
-that will work as well, one of them said.

they walked home and had some fun on the way. after they stayed in the living playing some music and get more cosy with eachother. the flat mate took his girl to his room.

-we should get to sleep as well, he said to the other one
-i dont feel like sleeping but we can go and have some fun in your room. i can dance for you , maybe like this you forget a bit about that girl that broke ur little heart.

he couldnt say not to a blond hot girl with green eyes. they went in the room and she pushed him on the bed. she turn a little bit the music down and let only a small light on. she started to strip for him and dance till he got hard. she jump on him and kissed him. took his tshirt off and kissed his chest and went down opening his pants, grabing his dick and start hand job him a little.

he took her hand and turn her on her back , went up on her and kisses her round tits ...
they had a good sex together and felt asleep afterword in their arms. the next morning all of them complain about headaweks. after a coffee and a cigarette his girl went and wispered at his ear to have a shower together. and they did. he bang her again in the shower and after the girls left they started to story about how crazy and nasty the girls were.


-fuck i didnt get a contact from her! he said
-dont worrie i took care about this, i have the facebook of the other. she was amazing so i want that again
-awesome
-yeah! so u still thinking to go from here? this city its amazing man, only cool things happen, enspecialy when we are together and party.
he smiled and never answer this.
-i need to go to work now. i will see you tonight, his flat mate said with panic in his voice after he saw that probably he will be late, again.

the story of a guy. ep 5

on his way to school he was thinking about the her all the time. he liked her a lot, but still wasnt sure about some things, her way was to mysterious for him and in the last time he felt really insecure about all this story.

he tried to talk about her with a friend from school in one of his boring classes and that didnt help him much. after the classes were finished he decided to go on his island and think about want he wants.

on the way he sited in the metro and as always he liked to watch people and figure it out their problems. across of his sit was a old man with white hair and bear. his eyes were not only old but sad as well. there was something about this man that made him give him a lot of attention.

the hands of the old man was keeping a book. and he tried to see what kind of book it was. the old man noticed his attention and put the book under his old brown cough.



-what are you reading there old man? he asked very intrigued
-why do you want to know young man?
-its my curiosity i think, is not every day when you see and old man holding a book like that in the metro, plus it look like book is more old then you.
-then i think you should go back to your contemporary things. the old man said it with an upset voice.
-i apologize, i never meant to offended you. my parents teach me to respect the old, and i think my words were misunderstood.
-in this case i can tell you that this book its not a book that you can find in the bookshop. it belonged to my wife, she wrote every page with her hand.
-is she still alive?
-no... she died couple of years ago. she died waiting for me to come back and when she saw that i am not, she wanted me to know her thoughts about her love to me.
-i guess its a very sentimental story inside. why cant i see a bit?
-because its personal. and you are a stranger.
-i might be a stranger old man, but i have a good heart.

the old man turned his head and never said a world again. at the next station he left, leaving the book for him. he noticed right away after the doors were closing and took it right away. he hesitate to open it and now it was time to get out as well because he was arriving to the his terminal.
he went out and start walking with the book in his hand. he end up on the island where everything was like he used to know. a beautiful landscape, a strange sound, a beautiful park with some benches and no one around.
he sat down on his usual bench and opened the book.

on the first page was written " this are my last minutes in life, i can feel it. i always wanted to story you the love that i carry in my heart for you ... "
the next pages were empty, he looked disparate to each page in search for another thing but that was the only thing that was written. suddenly he started to think about her again. about all her mysteries feelings of not understanding that she was giving to him. he considered that is it not fair. and the page that he just wrote made him understand that in life you shouldn't let things unsaid because there can be always a last minute and no way to turn back the time to correct your things. the last part he understood it from the old man who still kept this one sentience to his heart and then pass it forward to a stranger in a metro.
the next thing in his mind was to try find the old man, and return his book, as well to apologize. this thing never happened even if he always walks the metro train up and down on his way to university and back. he understood that love cant be hided, and if it is then is all a mistake and this is how he understood his next step in his relationship whit her.
the sun was already setting down, and the noise of the cars from the background started to fade slowly. he stood up and walked his way out from the island. as he arrived on his street he stopped at the boutique in the corner for drinking a beer and watch more stranger from the bar.

he went home and realize that he had never called the girl but as well hoped that she was still there. as he enter into the apartment he realized that no one was home. not her. not his mate. he went in the kitchen and took another beer and stood on the balcony thinking about his life. he always wanted to see more then a city. more then a country. more then one culture. more then one society.
he heard a sound from the door and went inside the living and noticed that his flat mate was home.

-evening my friend.
-hi!
-how's life treating you today?
-well, i kinda meet this strange old man in the metro today that made me realize ...

he storied to his mate all the day, about the old man, about his thoughts, about what he realized , and about what he was going to do about this new girl. his mate couldn't agree more, he always was supporting his ideas and encourage him to act in what his heart was telling him to do.

the ring bell sounds again, and at the door was her...

the story of a guy. ep 4

she came inside and went straight into the kitchen

-my flat mate is in the other room with this girl ...
-a new one?
-yes, ofcourse.

she looked a little bit worried so he asked

-its all good? u look a little bit on your thoughts ...
-didnt had such a good day.
-well, to be honest i just smoked a split :) with them and im kinda stoned, i bet theres still some left overs to make a new one, we can have a relaxed night.
-mmm, you know what , thats not such a bad idea, its been a while since ive last smoke.
-oh... so everyone smokes this ... interesting ... mmmm

they walked into the living room and they were one on top of the other. when the room mate saw her, she whispered to the new girl to shut up about what was going to happen.

-wow , should we just go to our room, she asked smiling .
-you two can join us, the new girl replied laughing ...

she look to him and smiled and then said that they should have another joint and then will see what happens next. they rolled another and started to talk about some memories that involved other sessions of smoking or different drugs that they used in the past.
the new girl was getting more horny and the flat mate was teasing her with touches and kisses. not long she grab his hand and took him in his room.

-the girl was kinda fun, i wonder what would had happen if i was not coming...
-probably i was watching them kiss all night and end up in my room reading some things for my classes tomorrow.... o fuck, totally forgot i need to write this thing for my class tomorrow...
-well its kinda late, and look at you , you.re completely stoned .. maybe we should go and sleep and wake up in the morning and to something about it cuz now i dont think its such a good idea, she said touching his face with a tender move.
-you are right, and give her a kiss

from that kiss they stand up and moved in the bedroom where they jumped in the bed. they were siting there hugging each other and then he asked her

-so what happen with you today, i kinda missed you, and i hate not knowing whats going on, you are alway so mysterious with me about your life
-well i wanted to tell you tonight but now we are stoned so i think i should wait till next day because i dont want you to get paranoid and understand a little bit something else then it is
-you can tell me now, i kinda get awake anyway
-no really, just hold me and lets fall asleep and we talk in the morning about everything.

she turned with the face at him and kissed him on the eye, after she kissed him on his lips and went down to his neck. her hand was touching his leg and slowly she put his underwear down. she pushed his t shirt up and kissed his chest... she went down and give him a nice blow job.
he came into her mouth and during her "visit" to toilet he fall asleep.
when she came back she smiled to see him sleeping and join him in the bed hugging him and fall asleep as well.
the next morning all four of them were kinda silent at the morning coffee and the new girl just left soon after this.

-i have to run now, i need to be in a place soon, was nice t meet u guys maybe we can do this another time
-dont u want to have a breakfast with us?
-i really need to run.

took her shoes on and slang the door after her.

-well , that was a awesome night for me, the flat mate smiled proud about
-i bet you did, he said, looking at him in a bro to bro way
-dont forget about ur paper work, you were mentioned it last night, she said
-yes, u.re right !

he took his phone and called a class mate . talked for 2 min with him and came back in the kitchen.

-all good ! im gonna go now as well. am i gonna see you here when i come back? im not gonna stay long.
-im not sure, find me on my phone?
-you better answer, we need to finish a talk .
-yes , i promise.
-now come and give me a kiss.

they kissed and he went out the door in a rush..

the story of a guy, ep 3

the rest of the day had passed very fast. they stayed hours kissing and talking about them selfs. as the sun went down and the night was falling they walked back home. the next morning other classes at the university for him but this time she walk him only till the metro station.

-i will let you go now, she said. i will have some things to take care of today as well. here's my number, call me after you finish.
-will do that! good luck with your things.

in the class he has active, you could had see that he has happy because all around him this amazing energy was glowing. at the end his buddies ask him to join them to a pool game at the After dark. a place where they used to hang out normally after courses.

-let me give a call to see what she.s doing and i will be right back to you guys.

he dialed the number but at the end of the line was not her voice. the message machine answered "please leave a msg after the bip"

-hei, seems like your not in a good zone, give me a sign on this number when u get this.

alright guys lets hit the place. they went down in the metro and went up in the center where the place was. after couple of games and couple of drinks one by one the guys were leaving the place.
she didnt call or give a sign yet so he decided to call again. once again the same other voice at the end of the call.
"maybe her phone is dead" or "maybe shes doing her things and she will call back"

the rest of the day he went shopping food and went back home where we cooked dinner. his friend was just entered the door.

-uhuuu, smelling good in here. what we had tonight?
-hei, welcome home, i just finished this vegetarian food but i can add some chicken for you if u like.
-no, go ahead lets eat cuz i didnt had a launch break at work today and dont want to wait another minut.

they put the food on plates and went in the living , sat on the couch and eat. on tv there was Border Police, a show they watched mostly every week.

-so how's a going with her? she is a hotty, you should deff keep her close.
-well , i kinda like her a lot, yesterday we kissed and had a really nice day. in the morning she give me this number and she said she has to fix some things and that i should call her after my classes, but her phone its turned off.
-well dont worry, and dont call her 100 times. leave her a message and she will get back , i think she likes you at hell.
-she better does dude cuz this is the last thing i can take now another failure with a chick.
-you need to have a better game man, you are kinda easy falling and the chicks dont dig that.
-wooow, my game is good, i play fair , im honest and open , and i give them respect, like its a normal thing to be. i got my hummor ...
-you see, chicks dont need this, because this is easy, and whats easy its not interesting.
-i dont wanna agree on this here. a future relationship its build on honesty and true feelings.
-yeah and true relationships dont happen every day. remember the last one? end up growing hair on your face because of what damage she did with your heart. and why? because you give your self to quick.

he didnt want to talk more and in the room was a little bit of silence.they looked at each other and then his flat mate said :

-give her time, she.ll call back! im going to have a shower and buy some condoms got this chick i met in the metro today and had a connexion, let my number and she txt me that she wants to see a movie tonight, at my place ! look

it was true the msg was exactly " how about we see a movie to you place tonight and know each other better" . how does he do it , his mind was asking him self. after almost three quarters of hour he goes down and comes back with a nice blond girl, with big eyes. the lips were covered with a light pink making that smile very attractive. she was wearing a white tshirt that read "today is a gift" and some back molded pants with green snickers.

-hi!you must be the flat mate, it is nice to meet you.
-and i love your tshirt, welcome in !

they sat down in the living drinking a bear and talking about partys and drugs, festival , movies and all this things that were basically normal discussions between youth people.

-by the way guys, do you smoke weed?
-yeah, sure we do, once in a while, he had replied just for not looking that lame and boring as he was thinking about himself but he had never tried it before.
-well thats good because i just got this nice split * a split its a joint , people who smoked knows8 * from my bodies.
-yeah lets rock and roll that split... by the way whats a split??????

the other two started to laugh and lighted up the joint. puff after puff they got high and our hero here started to be really dizzy. he let his phone in the chicken and totally forgot about the call he was waiting for.
the joint , the beers and the hotness of that girl was making him be really outgoing and after they started to talk about sex suddenly he asked:

-had you ever had a three way young lady?
-i never did she said... and fall on her thoughts.

no one had said nothing for couple of second that seems long enough for him to started to feel stupid.

-well i think i should go to sleep he said.
-maybe you should stay , she said.

at the moment the guys were looking to each other eyes and in a telepathic way they communicate.
"do you thing what im thinking?"
"yes, she wants it"
"should we try doing it, what if she.s just nice with the room mate?"
"i dont care that much man, im high and drunk and if she doesnt go for it and she doesnt want me anymore for me was a fun night already, and i can get a new one tomorrow anyway"

-then i will stay , he said.

the next thing that happen was that she put her hands on each one of their legs and started to move it close to their dicks. after this they started to kiss and touch her round medium tits. when ... the door bell ringed ...
wow, who could be at this hour they asked them selfs without even having a clue.

-i should get that , he said, dont let the flame out i.ll be back in a second.

as he opened the door she was standing there with a Kinder Egg in her hand.

-Sorry for today ... this is for you.

He took the egg and just stared stoned at her...

-well? ... can i come in?
-oh yeah, sure, come in ...

to be continued